Breaking free from: What will others think about me?

This post is also available in: Hindi Marathi

“A dream is not that which you see while sleeping.
It is something that does not let you sleep.”
~ Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam

So, are you awake? There are two kinds of people in this world—the ones who dream, and the others who make their dreams real. Where do you stand?

Long ago, someone dreamt of traveling to the moon. Almost everyone ridiculed the mission, yet with persistence it became a reality. Someone wished for a nation free of injustice and the influences of religion, caste and creed. A few people contributed to this dream and it bore fruition.

Someone envisioned that every house own a computer connected via the Internet. Many criticized this thought, but today almost every household is connected through the Internet.

Swami Vivekananda renounced worldly pleasures and trod the path of Truth at a young age. Today he’s an inspiration for the youth to practice spirituality at a young age.

Edison decided to illuminate this dark world through the invention of the electric bulb. Thousands of experiments failed, yet he kept going and rested only when the world lit up.

A world where everyone is connected by technology was someone’s thought, and so now everyone has a smartphone in their hand.

Do you have a similar dream? Has it turned into a strong resolve? Not yet? Well, then it will help to learn the art of abiding by your decisions. Youngsters specially need to practice this art as they have to make decisions all the time, be it studies, career choices, pursuing a job, choosing the right friends or a life partner, losing oneself in the world of gadgets, or imbibing self-discipline.

What will others think about me? This is an underlying fear that stops most of us from adhering to our decisions. As a result, most of our dreams remain mere fantasies. How do we overcome this inherent fear that dominates most of us? Following the following four steps are helpful.

1. Free yourself from the fear of ‘What others will think about me?’

   The United States of America, one of the foremost nations today, would never have been discovered if Columbus hadn’t ignored his critics as he set out on his voyage in search of India.Many students fail to make their desired career choices due to fear of being judged by their friends, parents, and teachers. This fear holds them back, even though they are attuned with their skill and talent in a particular field.

   The Wright brothers, the inventors of airplanes, were told, “Don’t talk about flying… just do your job…only birds can fly.” They overlooked people’s comments and persevered with their invention and one day the first flying aeroplane was invented.

   Only those people who were resolute with their resolves have been successful inventors. If you desire to be resolute with your decisions, then question yourself: When am I troubled by the fear of what others will say about me? Look back in your life and check the times you have stopped yourself from taking new steps due to this fear.

   As you contemplate on the above question, you may realize that quite often, this fear may have held you back and stopped you from exploring new options. Hence, make a resolve to get rid of this fear. When it grips you, think about all the above-mentioned inspirational personalities.

2. Stick to your principles

   Once you firmly decide to abide by your principles, then 99% of your decisions are taken care of automatically. How? Well, when one doesn’t have any principles in life, one tends to face dilemmas like: – Why should I do this job? All the staff in my office is corrupt, then can’t I be the same? If I gain money and conveniences, then why should I tread the path of the Truth? If you face such dilemmas, then it’s an indication that you are not leading a principled life.What are principles? Principles are basically rules that you wish to abide by in your life. Rules like – avoiding deceit, speaking the truth, being honest with yourself, others, and your revered ones, not comparing yourself with others, generating good feelings for others.

   While choosing a career, thought is mostly given to power, money, and fame. Decisions based on these factors often lead to grief. On the other hand, decisions driven by creativity, happiness, contentment, and impersonal work, help you make the right career choices.

   Old choices will lead to same old results. Hence, think anew and make new decisions but abiding by your principles.

3. Listen to your heart

   Nature intends to guide us in the best way so that we make the right decisions. The main hurdle in this process is our misaligned intellect. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t use our brains while taking decisions. In fact, we should use both our mind and heart while making decisions.Most of the time, using the logical mind is generally considered the best approach. However, heart-based decisions will shower you with joy, prosperity, and determination, as the heart is connected with your feelings. But this requires you to have the courage to follow the guidance received from your intuitive mind. History remembers people who carved new pathways while remembering to strike a right balance between the mind and the heart.

4. Bear responsibility for your decisions

   Blaming others for your failures is a sign of weakness. Fear of failure stops many people from making decisions as they look for guaranteed success. One often has a tendency to blame their family, friends, and situations for their wrong choices. Remember that your past decisions have shaped your present, and your present decisions will lead you to your future.Success doesn’t come with guarantees but comes with confidence, perseverance and a sense of responsibility. While making tough decisions, there’s always a risk of failure, being alienated, ridiculed, or derided by others. So, a person avoids taking risks as he would rather not face uncomfortable feelings and difficult experiences. But success demands that you make your decisions and stand by them.

The art of decision-making and adhering to your decisions is necessary for worldly success as well as for spiritual progress. If you decide to discover yourself and follow the path of Truth, then your decisions will be bang on, as decisions based on spiritual understanding will be a cause for love, joy, peace, prosperity, fulfilment, and completion.