Freedom from Emotions

Coming to the last article in this series of how to deal with unwanted thoughts, today we would discuss how to handle unwanted emotions. Emotions are nothing but a by-product of thoughts. These emotions or feelings (stress, anxiety, fear and anger) have a debilitating effect on our health. In addition to ideal food to keep good health, we also need positive feelings like peace, love, and courage. Hence it is important to understand the right method of handling emotions so that we lead a peaceful, happy and healthy life.

Most people allow destructive emotions to dwell in them. When such emotions are entertained for a long period, they adversely affect health. They are one of the major causes of depression.

Have you ever wondered what is every emotion trying to seek?

Every emotion is trying to seek attention, release and to be understood. Whenever any emotion arises, it is trying to say, “Please understand me.” However, the programming that we have been handed out since childhood causes a feeling of discomfort because of which we look for alternatives to escape from them, instead of witnessing and understanding what it is trying to say. We either shut down the emotion by suppressing it, or try to escape it by diverting focus to topics that provide temporary relief. But this does not help in releasing the emotion.

People know of only a few ways to release emotions and most of these give only temporary relief. The need now is to understand the right methods to achieve freedom from emotions. Only then is it possible to rise to the highest level of health.

The commonly adopted method to get away or release emotions is spewing it out on others. But we fail to understand that hatred, envy, anger ultimately lead us to burn in the fire of regret. Anger may arise due to any reason, but it always ends in regret and sorrow. The person we dump our emotions on keeps looking for an opportunity to bounce back with a befitting answer.

If one does injustice to others by expressing emotions of anger or resentment on them, then he may temporarily safeguard his physical health, however at the cost of harmony in his relationships. Others around him become vulnerable to his emotional outbursts.

The second commonly adopted method is the suppression of emotions and feelings. Someone who suppresses his feelings may appear calm on the outside, but actually, he is simmering inside. When he can no longer bear his suppressed feelings, he suddenly explodes like a volcano. But that makes matters worse. Sustained suppression leads to the proliferation of physiological malfunction in the organ where the emotion resides.

Beware of the two methods given above. To achieve freedom from unwanted emotions and feelings and rise to the heights of health, you can take help of the following ways:

Open – up: Share your feelings with a trustworthy friend or well-wisher.
Write down your feelings on paper.
Encounter your feeling by asking yourself evincing questions until you get to the bare facts. In most cases, you will find that the feeling was unnecessary.
Look at your feeling with a positive frame of mind. Take it in a way that the feeling has come to teach you something. Use it as a ladder of progress.
Determine the worth of every incident. Do not give value to trivial incidents and waste your energy in worrying about them.

The ultimate method of handling emotions

Here’s an ultimate method to attain freedom from unwanted or negative emotions. Viewing them as a detached witness. Emotions are like storms raging in the ocean. They come and go. If you alert yourself and raise your awareness in this time interval, you will learn the trick to detach yourself from the emotions.

The trick is to neither express, nor suppress, but witness emotions from a detached standpoint.

Detached witnessing has three aspects:

1. Understanding

When we observe our emotions, we may initially find it difficult to detach from them, as we are habitually identified with them. There is a deep notion within us which suggests that ‘All this is happening with me.’

When we learn to abide in the experience of the Self, we gain the conviction that we are neither the mind nor the body. The mind and body are expressions of pure consciousness that we essentially are. This understanding will help in detaching from the emotion and connect with the alert awareness that is witnessing all this. Secondly, understand that any emotion is temporary and it will vanish after some time. Only Who-we-truly –are is permanent. Witnessing emotions with this understanding will help in releasing emotions. This witnessing is with true love and acceptance of those feelings, which de-energizes them and leads to their release. The emotions get released when witnessed with love because there is neither attachment nor aversion in pure love.

2. Sameness

The other aspect of detached witnessing is a sense of sameness with which we perceive all emotions and thoughts. Sameness is about ascribing a value of alikeness to both painful and pleasurable emotions. A perspective of evenness where there is neither alike nor a dislike for what is being witnessed.

Superficially, emotions like anger, depression, or resentment will appear to be very heavy and intense. The subconscious programming triggers an instant impulsive reaction by giving an exaggerated weight to the emotion.

When we slow down and watch the emotion with an attitude of sameness, we are able to question the weight of the emotion. What may appear to be a heavyweight emotion, of the order of 50 kg, will then turn out to be not even 5 grams.

3. Alertness

Being vigilant or alert is important to remain detached. When we are not alert, the natural tendency is to identify with the stories that the mind creates and their associated emotions. We then get affected by these emotions. We need to have an alert awareness that is uncompromisingly focused on itself so that we remain detached.

With these three steps, we can become a witness to our emotions and not get carried away by their effects.

Summary:

Negative feelings have a debilitating effect on our health. We need positive feelings like peace, love, and courage to lead a happy life. And the most effective method to become free from the grip of such negative feelings is to view them as a detached witness with understanding, sameness and alertness. With this and the other techniques discussed in the previous articles of this series, we can surely lead a peaceful and balanced life.

Read Article no 1 – How To Deal With Unwanted Thoughts – Series (1)
Read Article no 2 – How To Deal With Unwanted Thoughts – Series (2)
Read Article no 3 – How To Deal With Unwanted Thoughts – Series (3)
Read Article no 4 – How To Deal With Unwanted Thoughts – Series (4)