The New Year gift to oneself

FORGIVENESS: The One Practice That Liberates you from Everything

In our previous article, we read about how and why Jesus forgave those who crucified him. Forgiveness is the highest virtue given to mankind. It’s no wonder that history is replete with stories of great saints, who practiced forgiveness, be it Jesus or Saint Meera.

In this article, we shall take a deeper plunge and understand this virtue and its benefits. As we come towards the end the year, let’s resolve all conflicts and start afresh. You may wonder why is it that I should forgive or seek forgiveness. I wasn’t wrong, so why me? The article presented here will answer this question.

In daily life, we often say ‘I am sorry’ when we cause inconvenience to someone or when somebody faces problems because of our actions. But the practice of seeking forgiveness is not just the superficial exchange of words. It’s a genuine apologetic feeling from within. The spiritual practice of forgiveness is very deep and has a vast dimension to it.

When you forgive or seek forgiveness from the bottom of your heart with full awareness, you are practicing true forgiveness. When you seek forgiveness or forgive someone, you are not doing a favor on the other person. Rather you are doing a favor on yourself. You are doing it to let yourself free from bondage. If you love yourself and your freedom, you will perform the spiritual practice of forgiveness for liberation.

The real benefits of this practice cannot be conveyed just in words; it can only be felt through direct experience. When you keep yourself free from bondage created due to the incidents and feel empty from within, you feel sublime and blissful. You don’t experience any stress or burden on your mind. When you experience the power of emptiness, you begin to love it and you won’t tolerate even a trace of bondage. It is then that the truest practice of forgiveness happens.

1) Forgiveness helps us to get rid of negative feelings

When we forgive the other person for their mistake, then we are freed from the associated negative feeling that was existing within us. Forgiving others guarantees our liberation from negativity. This is one of the major benefits of forgiving.

2) Forgiveness enables us to live in the present

When we don’t forgive, the same resentful thoughts keep ruminating in the mind. Whenever we meet that person, our attention drifts away from the present into past memories associated with them. Many a time, we can even be on the lookout to make the other person feel sorry for their mistakes. Forgiving them frees us from the past and enables us to live in the present moment. Bearing this in mind, we need to introspect and raise our understanding, forgive the other person, and free ourselves.

3) Forgiveness makes it possible to express positive energy

By forgiving or seeking forgiveness, the confusions of the mind immediately dissolve. One has the habit of making up stories, assumptions and beliefs about people, incidents or situations, according to one’s pattern of thinking. By doing so, the mind gets trapped in the web of unnecessary thoughts, which in turn contaminates the mind. Countless thoughts of arguments, complaints, hatred, or jealousy result in making the mind impure.

This causes positive energy to shrink within us. But the weapon of forgiveness destroys this shrinkage and helps us open up and express positive energy. Each one of us has divine qualities within us. By practicing forgiveness, divine qualities like love, joy and peace and compassion shine forth, helping positive energy to build within us and express itself.

4) Appropriate use of time

If we are not able to forgive each other, our minds tend to be preoccupied with hatred and revenge. This causes wastage of time, misuse of our vital energy, and creation of new karmic bondages. Until we forgive the other person, the feeling of incompleteness dominates the mind. The mistake may be either ours or theirs, but if we wish to feel complete from within, we need to practice forgiveness and also learn the art of completeness.

5) Brings the feeling of completeness

There are some rules to be followed for bringing closure and completeness with someone. Whenever we want to bring completeness with someone, we need to first bear in mind that we will not blame that person. We shall only express our feelings to them. We may say something like this: “I wish to bring completeness between us. The other day you said such a thing to me. I felt bad about it. I could be wrong, but I was hurt by your words. Thanks for giving me this opportunity to bring completeness with you.” As we express the suppressed feelings and thank them for the opportunity, we immediately open up and the other person also becomes receptive to accept their misgivings.

Forgiveness is an inner quality. It is a feeling that arises from the bottom of the heart. Merely saying ‘Sorry’ to someone or mentally admitting our mistake is not the right way of seeking forgiveness. Also, if you merely say “I forgive you” to someone and then continue to hold onto your feelings of hatred or anger towards them, then this is also not the right way to forgive.

You may seek sincere forgiveness mentally too, without actually speaking to the person. If you do it mentally, you may actually get the courage to speak up. It’s a three-step spiritual practice.

In the first step, we accept the incident that has happened. We are not ignoring it; we are accepting our emotions related to the incident. In the second step, we become aware of the negative feeling generated within and we forgive or seek forgiveness from the people involved in the incident. We do this from the bottom of the heart. Finally, in the third step, we let go of the thoughts and feelings associated with the incident from the mind. In short, we don’t repeatedly think or grumble about the incident. If we need to reach out to someone, we may. But the idea is to truly let go of the incident one way or the other.

Whether or not it is our mistake, if we grumble about the incident mentally, if we think of the other person as a separate individual, a separate body-mind, then we have not grown spiritually. As we grow spiritually, you begin to understand that the biggest obstacle to spiritual growth is assuming that we are the body – separate from the one existential experience of Consciousness. When we seek forgiveness by reminding ourselves of our true nature, Consciousness becomes pure again.

Whether we felt hurt by someone or we hurt someone, whether we are at fault or someone else is at fault – we are carrying an imprint that only reinforces the belief that ‘you’ and ‘I’ are separate individuals housed in bodies. We can use every relationship to reinforce who we truly are by seeking forgiveness for believing in this separation. This is the spiritual practice of forgiveness for liberation.

Further, if we look at any incident from a higher level of consciousness, we will realize that the same Universal Self is acting through this body as well as that of the other person. So, whether we hurt someone or the other person hurts us, all transactions are happening for and between the Universal Self alone. It is the Self that is dealing with itself in and through all human beings. When we are firmly convinced about this inherent oneness and become aware of it in all our transactions, we will neither feel ashamed of seeking forgiveness nor allow ego or anger to prevent us from forgiving.

Summary:
The practice of seeking forgiveness is not just superficial exchange of words. It’s a genuine apologetic feeling from the bottom of the heart. The spiritual practice of forgiveness is very deep and has a vast dimension to it. When we truly practice this, we experience love, peace and bliss.

As we move from the past year into the new, let’s resolve all the conflicts and start afresh. Let’s forgive and seek forgiveness from one and all. Let’s welcome 2019 by becoming pure and liberated from the bondages to pursue our dreams and reach new heights in every facet of life.